I-I-MMXIV

First things first: I have different names for my different faces, or major moods, or whatever you want to call it. For my serious, darker side, I have a name I gave to myself, the one I consider the real one, the one that is in control of me most of the time.

That's just the tip of the iceberg, in a manner of speaking. While people find me more or less weird, there has been no consensus whatsoever on if I am just a bit disoriented or completely insane. Recently I came upon this answer to that: I am not as insane as you believe, but I am crazier than what you're afraid of. While most of my full smiles are fake, the half smiles are completely honest on this: I am planning to laugh at you (internally or on the outside) or I am already, about some joke I might have not even though of yet. Few people understand the way I think, even fewer bother to try and understand it.

This goes on. I know I am not perfect, as nobody is. I worry too much about things that do not deserve the attention, and on the other hand, I worry or care too little for actually transcendental matters. Nevertheless, I stand by my choices, because I had reasons for making them, reasons I believed on in the past and I still do now.

This means that I have no intention of changing who I am, what I do, or why I do what I do. This means that I will live my life by my principles, because that is what my conscience asks me to do, in order to feel like a decent man. I am aware that people will criticize my decisions, calling me a fool, but I strongly believe that a man who betrays himself is of no worth at all. It is however, impossible for me not to care at all, since that would mean being blind to everything else, and that is one of the biggest mistakes that can be done. But I know this: I would rather live proud of my choices and criticised by everybody else than the other way around.