The Beast

Today I felt something I had not felt in a long time.
Something I missed, that I believed gone.
What made me smile when rain fell on me.
What made me forget all my problems.
A wild strength that made me indestructible.
With a feral smile, like a wolf.

January the 5th, 2013

I'm a screw up. Always have been.

I never learnt how to completely get over anything or anyone, or how to say what I really think face to face.

All because of fear, because if I don't know what will happen, I'm too scared to act, to talk.

And that fear kills me. Every day. It's an agony.

But I can't or won't shake it off. Either one of them. Both of them.

I'm at a loss.